I am feeling so lost right now. So left behind.
Let me preface this by saying I am SO happy for those you that have gotten your BFPs recently. Several blogs that I read have recently found out they are pregnant...and they so deserve it.
But I'm jealous. There. I said it. I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it.
I don't even know how to deal with these feelings anymore. I thought things were improving and I was healing, but now I'm not so sure. Every step that I take forward, I feel like I have to take two steps back...and with each passing cycle, I'm losing more and more ground.
Others are moving on...getting pregnant. Even those that had miscarriages after me. It's a tough pill to swallow. Somewhere in my heart, I am happy for them...I really am. Because I want the same in return when I am pregnant again someday. If it ever happens again.
Most of the people in my life don't fully understand how it feels and never will. They try to comfort me by saying "your time will come." I find myself feeling bitter over their words. Angry that they could say that when, in reality, my time did come, and it was ripped away from me. Twice.
I'm drowning in my own sorrows...in feeling sorry for myself. But I can't seem to drag myself out of this dark place. It's like I'm wandering around aimlessly searching for a way out...but it's so dark and cold...and I'm so lost.