Friday, September 28, 2012

15dpo & Waiting

AF is due today and usually shows up in the super early morning hours. Still not here. Temp dropped slightly again, but still above coverline. I tested BFN yesterday so I know I'm not pregnant. Anyone else take Femara and have a longer LP than normal? I wanted AF to show up today since I have my follow-up with my OB at 2pm. I'm hoping he will still prescribe Femara...

I want to move on to next cycle but my LP is being an ass :(

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

13dpo BFN

Temp still up, but based on previous months, I'm expecting more of a drop tomorrow. AF is due Friday.

Here's my chart:

I'm OK with AF coming. Sad, but ok. Ready to move on to next month!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Not Again

12dpo temp down a little and BFN. Cramping was off and on last night...but bad when it was on. Boobs hurt. I'm pretty sure I'm out. I'm trying not to be too disappointed, but it's hard. I had such high hopes for this first cycle of Femara. I thought if I did everything right, it would work. I know it's only the first round and we have several more to go, but now that we failed again, that thought of "what if" has entered my mind again. What if Femara doesn't work...then what? What if we can't conceive again? It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

I know I need to relax and give Femara a chance. At least a few more cycles. But this journey is getting so much harder than I ever thought it could be. Sometimes I just don't know how I'll carry on :(

Monday, September 24, 2012


Test is clearly negative.

I've had dreams the last two nights that I got positive tests. Then I woke up. I wish these dreams would stop. I am so happy when I'm sleeping but then I wake up and it's all taken away again :(

I really want to believe that there is still time this cycle, but I'm just not feeling it. And sadly, I put so much pressure on this cycle. I really thought if we did everything right, it would work. But now I'm feeling like it didn't happen and I feel like a failure. I keep saying that I really don't know how much longer I can do this...but AF will arrive and eventually I will have renewed hope that it will happen for us. But right now, I just want to crawl into a hole and give up :( Why does this have to be so hard?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

10dpo...Indent or Something Else?

I started testing at 8dpo...I know, stupid. BFN of course.

Yesterday's and today's tests (9 and 10dpo) seem to have indents...or maybe it's the start of something. Who knows?! Also, last night, I had some pinching in the center just behind my pubic bone...lasted about 5-10 minutes, followed by a long, painful cramp that lasted about 2 minutes. Then it went away. Now today I've had off and on cramping that feels like AF is on her way, even though she isn't due for 5 days.

Here's this morning's test:

Monday, September 17, 2012


Well, I'm 4dpo. A week from now, I might have an idea if I'm pregnant or not. So far...I've been feeling a lot of hot flashes, I'm more tired than usual, and I was a total bitch yesterday. I wanted to rip someone's head off! I don't know if the Femara causes more symptoms post-O than normal, but I feel like I'm going crazy already!

I can't say that I will ever get OVER my miscarriages last year, because I know won't. I will always think about them. But I'm finally to the point where I have accepted it, which is a huge step for me. I can look at baby clothes without getting angry. I've started researching things I'll need for a newborn...and making a birth plan. Things that I couldn't even bear to think about before, now I'm getting excited about them. I'm starting to think about debt that we have that I want to get rid of ASAP. I want our baby to have amazing toys...and cute clothes! And I'm just so thrilled that Femara worked...I just know that we are going to get pregnant soon! I hope sooner rather than later, but I feel confident now that it IS going to happen for us!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Temp Rise!

So it looks like Femara is going to work for me. Yay! I'm pretty sure I O'ed sometime yesterday morning since I was very, very crampy then. I'm really happy with our BD timing. Now the wait begins :(

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Truck Yeah!

I had a feeling with how much pain I was in last night that I HAD to be almost there. YAY!
Looks like will probably O tomorrow CD18!

So far BDing schedule is exhausting me, but there is an end in sight. All our bases are covered: CD7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16 and will BD tonight on 17 and tomorrow on 18. Maybe 19 depending on when I get a temp spice.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ouch...My Ovaries!

It's CD16 today and my ovaries are killing me. They are so achy and feel like they want to explode. But my OPKs are as negative as they've ever been and I'm already tired of doing it. I'm starting to freak out. What if I don't ovulate? Shouldn't I have a + by now?

This morning's FMU OPK (CD16). I know they say not to use OPKs in the morning but I wanted to try anyway and it's actually darker than yesterdays.

Afternoon update: My ovaries hurt so bad. But still no LH surge :(

Evening update: I didn't think I could feel any worse, but I feel like I'm about to burst...and still, THIS (grrrr). I have to be close, right?

Friday, September 7, 2012

False Positives with Femara?

So I'm starting to think yesterday's OPKs were false positives. The Wondfo wasn't quite as dark as my real positives are...and the test line on the CB digi stick was lighter than my past positives, too. I're not supposed to look at that line, but I can't help it.

I went to research it on Dr. google and found quite a few posts from people saying they got false positive's shortly after finishing their pills (2-3 days after).

I took a test at lunch and it was negative. Will continue testing twice a day...and temping...and BDing.

It's stressful doing the OPKs...but at least I know all bases are covered if we just keep BDing until I get a temp rise! Hopefully only a few more days!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

CD11 & Smiley Already!

And THIS...already!?

I took a Wondfo OPK at lunch but it was very negative. I was also drinking a large sweet tea this morning so that may have diluted my urine a lot. Decided that I was going to be testing twice a day so I made sure not to miss my tested again tonight around 7:30pm and got the "almost" positive on the Wondfo...hesitated as to whether to try a digi and glad I did. I think this might be the start of my surge. I'm so excited! I might actually ovulate by CD13 or a normal person! Will test again tomorrow just to see if the lines get darker! Yay!!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Almost Done w/Femara!

Well, it's CD9 and today will be my last dose of Femara this cycle. So far the only side effects are slight headaches (Tylenol seems to help these a lot) and off and on hot flashes. I tend to notice these more if I'm up and moving around....although last night I kept sweating in bed! But overall, the side effects really aren't that bad. Minor at best. And totally worth it.

My instructions from my OB said to not DTD CD#5-11, then every day CD12-16. But, I've been worried about O'ing early. I have no idea how this Femara is going to affect me and I've read of several people that have O'ed as early as CD12. So, DH and I BD'ed on Sunday (CD7) and will probably again tonight. Just in case. I'm wondering if he says not to on 5-11 so we can save our energy? Hmmm, not sure. But DH would do it twice a day everyday if he could and not get tired. If anyone is going to run out of energy 12-16, it'd be me. But I'm not going to let that happen! I'm doing EVERYTHING in my power to make this cycle work. I'm taking my prenatals everyday, finally! I just need to get into the habit of taking it everyday and it'll be easy.

I'm so excited for the next few days to see what happens. I already started my OPKs. I know...early. But I couldn't wait and I don't want to miss a surge!

Fingers crossed I actually O. Anytime before CD20 would make me happy!