I had my appointment this morning with my PCP. I knew it was going to be rather uneventful and mostly was just for discussing my issues and getting a referral. However, the days leading up to it, I was moody and irritable and was crying at least a couple times a day.
It finally hit me that I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. It scared me. I knew it was the start of what could be a very long journey. And I also knew it might not be easy to get into the Ob/Gyn that I went to in the past (due to insurance reasons).
In 2005, I was referred to Dr. T from my old PCP because I was having irregular and painful periods. After a couple appointments with Dr. T, it was decided that I needed a laparoscopy to see if I had endometriosis. As suspected, I did...and a lot of it. He was able to laser out a lot of it, and for a couple years after that, my periods were a bit more normal.
Over time, they continued to be erratic however, and still quite painful. I learned to do with it, and since I wasn't trying to conceive it wasn't a big deal. In fact, I'll be the first to say that I actually enjoyed not having a period every month.
But when I got pregnant last year, I instantly thought of going to Dr. T. I couldn't imagine going to a different doctor. I didn't have insurance at the time and his office didn't take cash paying patients, so I had to look for a new doctor. I took the suggestions of an acquaintance and went to her Ob/Gyn. This later turned out to be a bad idea. Don't get me wrong...he was a good doctor and had been in practice for decades, but once it was determined I was going to miscarry, his demeanor changed. He was all about the facts and was very cold.
Upon the consultation following my ER visit where I had bled a lot, I took my step-mom with me for support. He went back to being very cold...and I mean, didn't even put on a front like he gave a crap. My step-mom (having been a nurse and now on the Indiana State Board of Nursing) began to grill him with questions about needing a D&C. He kept stating that it wasn't necessary...and she had been consulting with her board members and other nurses and they told her I would need one to avoid infection and other complications. At this point, it was a heated argument and I was balling my eyes out. She was really an advocate for me when I needed one most. I couldn't even begin to express my emotions to this seemingly heartless man. Eventually he began yelling at her asking why she wasn't letting me talk. I didn't even want to talk to him anymore...I just wanted to run away!
In the end, yes, I did need a D&C, despite his claims that it was not necessary. It was then that I knew there was no way in HELL I'd go back to that a-hole.
I was so mad at the time. Just because I didn't have insurance, meant that I couldn't go to the doctor I knew and loved (Dr. T). But friends of mine that had Medicaid could into whoever they wanted. It didn't seem fair.
Fast forward to now...I have insurance...and it's still a pain to try to get into him. My PCP wants me to be able to go to whoever I want, but it's up to insurance if they will *approve* the referral. My PCP stepped out of the office to make a call (I presume to insurance)...the nurse comes back in to tell me it looks like I can go to Dr. T!
I instantly felt at ease! I'm still nervous that insurance will find a way to say no...but I'm hoping, praying, that doesn't happen. They are supposed to set up the appt. for me and call me back, hopefully today. If not, you can bet I will be calling them tomorrow!
DH is still upset that PCP can't do anything. I told him that's how it works...I have to be referred to a specialist. I told him that he needs to relax and that we've made the first step!
**edit: my doctor's office called - appointment is July 19th at 10:30am. Long wait :( They said they couldn't get me in any sooner because he is on vacation. I'm on a cancellation list in case someone cancels. It's going to be a long 6 weeks!**