I have no idea what's going on now. According to my chart, I'm 16dpo, but no AF and all BFNs.
My temps are confusing...I don't even know what to input for my chart. I woke up at 6am and had a temp of 97.3, then woke up at 8am and had a temp of 98.1. I have been temping pretty regularly at 8am.
I also had brown spotting from 7dpo-10dpo. So I'm starting to think that maybe my brown spotting a week ago was an annovulatory "period."
But, I've also had AF-like cramps the past 3-4 days, which is usually what I experience before AF arrives. I woke up this morning thinking "yep, she's on her way," then nothing.
I don't even know my body anymore. This is so frustrating. You think that by temping, charting, and using OPKs, that I would have a good picture of where I'm at in my cycle. Everything is just so messed up. I haven't had an actual red blood period since April 1st! This is seriously insane and NOT normal.
I know I should just be patient and wait for my appointment July 19th, but I'm just getting so annoyed. I can't even attempt to TTC when my body is like this. On top of all that, I'm 2 days away from when I got my very first BFP last year, and I'm struggling more than ever. I should be holding a 4 month old right now. Or at the very least be VERY pregnant. Instead I have two miscarriages behind me, and a body that won't even attempt to cooperate anymore.
I'm just so damn tired. Physically. Emotionally. Just sick of all of it.Women around me everywhere getting pregnant, having babies. Except me.
And it doesn't matter how many people say "your time is coming" or "it will happen when it's meant to happen." I hate that. My time did come and it was all taken away from me. I'm so sick of hearing all that BS.
But deep down, I know they are right. I just don't want to hear it.
I know God has a plan, and I just need to trust in His wisdom. But why...why does it have to be so hard?!