Updates 26 Weeks

Lots of updates...and I've had lots of time, just haven't made it here to post.

A week ago, I went to my OB appointment and was still spilling sugar in my urine. My OB thought for sure that I was heading towards gestational diabetes, despite passing my 3 hour glucose test, so he suggested getting a glucometer and testing for a couple weeks. I agreed. I didn't end up getting it until Tuesday afternoon, and so far all my numbers are under 100 with the exception of a 105. The first fasting morning I woke up hungry and with a 58...too low. The next couple nights I had a snack with protein prior to bed and both of those next morning fastings have been in the 70's...perfect from everything I've read. My two hour post meal readings have been between 66 and 105 (those are the lowest and the highest) with the majority falling in the 80's. Seems there is no way I have GD with those numbers. We will see what dr. says at my appt. today.

Since having contractions start a couple weeks ago, I noticed that I hardly had any as long as I rested at home a lot. But as soon as I left to the house and starting walking around, they'd come back...sometimes up to 10 per hour. Not good. I told my OB about this and asked about physical activity and if I should avoid it if it brings on contractions. He said yes and asked if I got disability benefits at work. As soon as I told him I did, he mentioned being on best rest the rest of the pregnancy. I agreed, so long as it was reducing the contractions. So, 3+ months of bedrest. It was a tough decision for me and I cried a lot that night. I felt guilty for leaving work without their second designer...I felt bad that DH was going to have to bear most of the burden of responsibilities around the house. And I felt scared about the whole process. A week later, I'm doing ok. I get bored easily, but I realize it's all for baby and it will definitely be worth it.

I am still in the process of getting all the paperwork completed for the short term disability and my work/HR has been awesome about. They said if there is a delay between what I have left for vacation/sick pay and benefits, that they will float me the difference and work out what I owe them when I return in the fall. That way we won't have a gap in money coming in to pay bills.

26 weeks today and so hard to believe! Baby boy has been kicking me like crazy...and it actually hurts when he's feet down. He's head down again and starting to get pretty close to my ribs!

Fears Somewhat Calmed

My mom had to talk me into going to L&D yesterday. I kept thinking it was just a bladder infection, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't stop worrying about whether everything was okay with baby. Finally, my mom convinced me and so we went. We went to the ER first as we had no idea where Labor & Delivery was...and as I went to check into the ER and told them I was almost 25 wks, they had someone come down and wheel me up to L&D. Thank goodness. I got right into a room!

They started with a urine sample, which I expected, then hooked me up to the monitor to check for contractions.  They also listened to baby's heart with the doppler (a healthy 150 bpm). They then got an IV going, which I also didn't expect and the nurse did a pretty crappy job putting it in. I'm usually pretty pain tolerant as I've had a ton of IVs when I've had kidney stones, but I really whinced when she put this one in.

Once it was in the doctors came in (both women and young, but super nice). I actually felt more comfortable that they were all women even though my OB is male. Anyway, they got some swabs from my cervix to check for infection (ouch, hate that speculum) and then she checked my cervix (which didn't really hurt just felt like lots of pressure). She said my cervix was closed and thick (great signs).

They ran labs for preterm labor, UTI, and any other infections. This took a while, so in the meantime, mom and I watched my contractions on the monitor. They got more and more regular as time went on...maybe every 5 minutes. They weren't super strong, but got up to 50 on the monitor.

Finally, the doctor came back in after checking all the labs and speaking to my OB. No UTI or other infection. No preterm labor. And definitely having contractions, but not often enough or strong enough to make any changes to my cervix. I was given a prescription for Procardin to take as needed when I start feeling contractions.

So overall, a good visit considering baby is just fine. My next appt with my OB is Thursday, so we will see what he says about it. Not sure if he will monitor or check me more regularly or just blow it off as BH contractions. We shall see!

GD Results & Nervous

Time still seems to be flying by! I'll be 25 weeks on Friday.

Good news is that I found I passed my 3 hour glucose test with flying colors. The nurse called Friday to give me the results and I missed her call. I thought for sure she was calling to tell me I failed. I called her back and to my surprise (and hers too, I think) she gave me all my #s.

Fasting: 81 (has to be less than 95)
One Hour: 165 (has to be below 180)
Two Hour: 125 (has to be below 155)
Three Hour: 109 (has to be below 140)

I'm so relieved!

We also picked up the crib this past Friday and DH and FIL put it together yesterday:

It's all starting to feel so real and to be honest, I'm scared! At a moments notice, I feel like crying and I'm not even sure why. It's just all so overwhelming and I realize my life is going to be changed forever. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, but it's scary. Our whole routine is going to change...just...everything.

On top of that, we've reached viability, so every twinge and ache scares me. On Saturday, I was cramping off and on all day. I don't know if it's RLP or what, but it scared me. Now I'm feeling pressure down low...almost like a UTI, but I'm not sure. I tried calling my doctor this morning and spoke to the nurse. She didn't seem too concerned...just sent me to the lab to give a urine sample. The lab tech said it would take a couple days for results. In the meantime, I'm freaking out. I've never made it this far and so I don't know what's normal...and my nurse is not helping any. I seriously need reassurance. I'm this close to going to L&D just so I can know that everything is OK, but then I feel stupid for even thinking that. And the next minute, I feel stupid for ignoring any type of ache/pain like this. I'm just so scared and I don't know what to do.

One Hour Glucose Fail

I found out yesterday that I failed my one hour glucose test...but just barely. My blood sugar was 145 after an hour (cut off was 140). Doc was hesitant to have me do the 3 hour already before 25 wks since this one was borderline as he suspects I'm going to have a problem regardless. But he gave me the lab slip to schedule it (hoping to schedule it on a Saturday....where I'll be 24w1d). I've changed my diet drastically (did before the one hour), so if I fail it, it's beyond my control. All I can do is keep eating good and hope for the best.

In other news, baby is doing great! OB found the heartrate right when he placed the doppler on my belly! 154 bpm. And he's measuring right on track if not a couple days ahead. I was 22w5d yesterday and measured right about 23.

Ultimately, as long as baby man is healthy, I'm happy. GD would kind of suck, but it is what it is. I used to have trouble with low blood sugar, so OB isn't surprised that my pancreas seems to be confused again. I'm trying to stay positive about this. There are so many worse things that could go wrong during pregnancy, and this one just seems like a minor blip! We've been through so much prior to getting to this point, that it seems like nothing really phases me anymore. What will be...will be.

Fear

The last couple weeks, my thoughts have been consumed with fear. The farther along I get with this pregnancy, the more anxious I become. It's all becoming so real, and now, the thought of something going wrong would seriously destroy me. I'm trying to remain strong...but in the back of my mind, that thought is always there. What if.

I know everything has checked out perfect with baby so far, but I can't help but worry. Right now I'm focusing on making it to 24 weeks (viability). But then what? I honestly think I will still worry even when I make it to that point.

I broke down crying to DH over the weekend because the feelings had begun to overwhelm me. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Just scared of everything. Of him being OK and making it here safely to my arms. Then taking care of him and worrying about being a good mom. But it ultimately came down to the fear of losing another one. The odds are pretty good that everything will be fine, but that fear still exists within me and I can't seem to shake it.

Please tell me this is normal. Perhaps for every mom...but maybe even more so for those that have experienced a loss. How do I deal with this?