I never realized just how much work taking care of a newborn would be! It's a 24/7 job. I barely have time to shower and eat anymore...luckily all the grandparents LOVE helping out :)
DH and I went in for induction on Wednesday evening, June 26th at 9:30pm. I was 38 weeks and 5 days at the time and was being induced for high blood pressure. We were both so nervous and excited going in...and I cried most of the way to the hospital. I just knew our life was about to change and I felt so overwhelmed with emotion.
They got my IV in and vaginally inserted the first Cycotec pill at 10pm. I fell asleep shortly after, but that didn't last long. The cramping started getting stronger just an hour after it was put in. At 2am, they checked me (I think I was 2cm then) and inserted another Cycotec. I drifted in and out of sleep over the next hour. At 3am, I felt a couple weird popping sensations inside. I suspected it might be my water breaking but wasn't sure. So when the nurse came in at 3:15am, I asked to go to the bathroom. As soon as I sat up in bed, I felt a huge gush of warm fluid and said "Uh, I think my water broke." I don't think the nurse believed me, but as I stood up, another huge gush hit the floor...so she handed me a towel and I waddled to the toilet with the towel between my legs. Then as soon as I sat down to pee, more fluid came out. And it just kept coming.
As soon as I got back into bed, the contractions really picked up and I felt them all in my lower back. The nurse offered me pain meds through my IV (I think it was Fentanyl) and I took it. It instantly made me feel very disoriented and was enough for me to drift in and out of sleep again. But, just an hour later, the drugs were wearing off and they checked me again. At this point, I believe I was 3-4cm and was told I could get the epidural now if I wanted. I originally said "let's try more Fentanyl" but I honestly don't know why since it really didn't do much the first time around. The nurse said now was a good time for an epi if I wanted it, so I gave in. And I'm so glad I did. Anesthesia came in within 20 minutes or so. I was pretty nervous to get the epi, but knew that it would help with the pain. And the procedure honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Within 10 minutes of getting it, I couldn't feel anything. After that, I must've fell asleep again until it was daylight. I honestly don't remember much for a few hours after that.
As it became daylight and my family started to arrive, I honestly don't remember much that went on other than them walking in. The contractions were really picking up and by noon, the epi was wearing off and I was in SO much pain. They checked me around noon and I was almost 9cm by then. I was hopeful that the end was near. However, by 2pm, I was crying and screaming in pain. I was pretty much hysterical and wondering why no one was helping me. Anesthesia came back to give me more meds via the epi and it helped pretty quickly. However, it was short-lived as it started to wear off again after about 30 minutes. The nurse checked me again around 2:30pm and I was 9.5cm and feeling like I had to push. She made me wait a bit longer to start pushing. By 3pm, I was finally 10cm. She let me push but basically said I wasn't pushing good enough and told me to wait more because I'd be pushing for a long time.
At this point, I hated my nurse and didn't understand why she kept telling me to wait. She kept saying I'd know when I needed to push and I kept telling her I was feeling the urge. It was torture trying not to push. That nurse's shift ended at 3pm, thank God, and a new nurse was taking care of me. She was an older lady, but seemed a bit more patient with me and was actually helping and telling me how I was supposed to push. The next hour and a half are kind of a blur. Pulling my knees up with my own hands every 2 minutes and pushing 3 times before resting and repeating. DH was there holding my hand the whole time and I was grateful. But other than that, I just recall the nurse walking in and out of the room while I was pushing. I felt very alone and the epi was doing no good at this point. Finally at 4:30pm, the on-call doctor came in and she watched me push some more. She said I was pushing good, but the baby wasn't coming down. At this point, it was decided I would need a C-section and I was fine with it. I couldn't stand the pain anymore. I had been in labor for 19 hours and I just wanted to be done.
Anesthesia was in my room within 15 minutes to have me sign papers. My doctor came in briefly to talk to me. I was in the operating room by 5pm. They said most likely I'd have to be put under general anesthesia since my epi kept wearing off...which I was honestly happy about. I just wanted to be done...and being put to sleep put me out of my misery for a while. I think DH was somewhat happy about it as well. He wasn't allowed to go in the OR with me...and since he's very queasy, I think this was the best scenario (other than the fact I had to be cut open, of course). Baby was born at 5:15pm (6/27/13). He was 6 lbs. 15 oz. and 20.5" long. His head was VERY cone-shaped when born from me trying to push him out. Luckily the cone-shape went away almost completely by the time I saw him about 4 hours later. At his 1 week check-up, he had lost 1.25" in height due to the cone-shape going away! His Apgar numbers were 8 out of 10 at 1 minute and 9 out of 10 at 2 minutes. His bilirubin was high at first check, but ok at the second check. He also had his circumcision two days after birth.
I woke up in recovery and the first thing I asked was how he was doing, how much he weighed and how long he was! Then I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe and I think I asked "is it normal to feel like I'm dying?" I tried coughing and that helped but it hurt like hell! I finally got to my room a couple hours later, then DH wheeled Brady in so I could see him. This was close to 4 hours after I had him! It was instant love :)
The recovery for the first 24 hours was pretty rough. They made me get out of bed to pee within 10 hours of the C-section. I thought there was no way I would make it, but my nurse at the time was awesome! I also had a morphine pump for the first 24 hours, so I could push the button anytime I wanted more (well, every 8 minutes anyway). Coughing was horrendous and I had to hold a blanket to my c-section incision to even make it somewhat bearable. Also, the bleeding was intense and I had a couple good sized clots come out. Ick!
Brady and I left the hospital a little less than 48 hours after he was born. I was still VERY sore but homesick and told the doc I was ready to go! I was super emotional leaving the hospital and cried halfway home while riding in the backseat staring at Brady!
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| First afternoon home |
My mom followed us home, but left shortly afterwards. My brother stuck around and so did DH's dad. I started feeling very overwhelmed at that point. So many thoughts were swirling around in my head. I didn't know if I wanted to be left alone or surrounded by people. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I just felt very sad and didn't know why. Finally, I started crying and called DH into the other room. My crying was uncontrollable at that time and I told DH something was wrong and I needed help. I started digging through the folder from the hospital looking for a phone number. I couldn't find anything, so I told DH to call my doctor's office and that he'd be transferred to whoever was on call at the hospital. It ended up being someone other than my doctor, but DH told him what was going on and the doctor said to take me to the ER. Luckily DH's dad stayed to watch the baby. On the way to the hospital, my mind was racing and it was like I couldn't shut it off. I told DH I wanted to be put to sleep and that I just couldn't handle these feelings. I couldn't stop crying and halfway there I started panicking. At the time I didn't realize that it was a panic attack...I literally thought I was dying. My heart started racing, I couldn't concentrate. I felt like my life was coming to an end. I was so freaked out that I dialed 911 on my cell phone and wasn't making any sense to the operator. I finally handed the phone to DH who talked to the operator for me. She said an ambulance couldn't get us to the hospital any faster since we were only 5 minutes away. Once we got there, my heart rate was nearly 200 and my blood pressure was super high. They called me back to the triage room and were very calm. But I started panicking again since they weren't doing anything, and I started yelling at all the doctors and nursing while they started at me. I kept saying something was wrong and they needed to fix it. They did an EKG quickly, which was normal. Then started me on an IV and gave me Ativan, which helped me relax. I spent the night in an observation room while they monitored me. DH slept on the floor. They were going to release me in the morning but I insisted that something still wasn't right, so I was admitted. To make a long story short, part of the problem was that 3 days earlier I had stopped taking a blood pressure medication that you usually have to be weaned from. It made my blood pressure and heart rate go up. The other issue turned out to be post partum anxiety/depression. I'm on Zoloft now (for up to 6 months) and back on the blood pressure medication until I go back to the cardiologist next week. I'm finally feel back to myself again.
Brady's 1 week check-up went great. He had dropped to 6 lbs. 11 oz. upon discharge from the hospital. About a week later he was up to 7 lbs. 1 oz. (2 oz. over birth weight). Everything appears healthy. He's a VERY good eater, and so far a good baby. He does fight sleep sometimes and gets very cranky if he's awake too long and gets tired. DH and I are adjusting...slowly. We think we are doing quite well since neither of us was very familiar with how to care for a newborn. But just like my mom said, instincts sort of kick in and you figure it out. The grandparents are helping a lot. My mom comes over two-three days a week to help me take care of him and let me get a nap. DH's mom has taken him for a couple overnight visits so we can get some rest.
I love being a mom...despite the fact that it's a lot of work and very challenging, but he's worth it! He's worth every effort it took to get pregnant...and every ache and pain during the pregnancy. I can't imagine life without him at this point!
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| One month old already!
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